3 Lessons From My 3 Month Back Injury (& How They're Relevant to COVID-19)
On November 14th, 2019, I followed along with a yoga sequence on Youtube that would flip my entire life upside down.
I remember that overcast Thursday morning clearly — unrolling my yoga mat, selecting the ‘hip stretch’ class, and following along with the instructor’s cues. As we began the descent into a knee bent forward fold (my favorite stretch), I felt the tender twitch. Ooooh yeah, I said to myself. My hips needed this. Or so I thought.
It didn’t take long before my body started screaming at me. I listened and got out of the forward fold, but it was too late. After many days, hip clicks, tears, prayers, and appointments later, I’d learn that I had herniated my L5-S1 disc, dislocated my left SI joint and severely rotated my pelvis — so much so that lying on my belly required two different sized blocks to stabilize each of my hips. I then heard the words I never thought I’d hear:
“You’re gonna have to learn how to walk all over again.”
To say it was painful was an understatement. I felt broken inside my own body. But the truth was, I learned so much more than just how to walk.
Over the next 14 weeks, I’d go from barely making it from the couch to the kitchen to walking a slow half mile down our street and back. I couldn’t sit in a chair, drive, or teach any voice lessons. My bank account dipped as my medical bills grew. And I rang in the new decade with the simple wish of being able to hike again — all other goals, visions, and career plans out the window.
To describe the experience feels impossible. Humbling. Traumatic. Enlightening. Mostly whole — the whole damn spectrum. I eventually had nothing to give to others. I paused working on my blog + Youtube channel to devote to healing. It took everything in me — physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually — to recover. But I gave myself that permission to make the sacred switch from my yang lifestyle (go-do-repeat!) to yin (slow-flow-repeat). And I’m forever grateful for the experience.
This article is being published on April 14th, exactly 5 months after I injured my back.
And today, the world is in self isolation.
The hashtag #quarantinelife went from 10,000 to 1 million users in just 3 weeks. The effects of this historical pandemic are felt on a global scale. No one could’ve prepared themselves for something like this. Certainly not me, even though I experienced a 3 month “self isolation” period just a few weeks prior to COVID-19.
So, I write these words with tremendous humility. This time is incredibly fragile, and we’re all experiencing it differently. And moreover, we’re learning a lot about perspective and life. While I don’t know how to navigate this unprecedented time, I do know that my back injury taught me lessons that somehow feel relevant. My hope is these lessons bring you as much support as they have me.
LESSON 1: ACCEPTANCE IS LIBERATING.
The day I found out it’d be another 7 weeks of horizontal-couch-living was the same day I’d experience something new as an adult -- peeing my pants. Not from laughing too hard (like I’d infamously done in the 10th grade) but from sheer physical impairment. From not making it. (Both in terms of holding my bladder AND getting to the bathroom.) I’ll never forget sobbing on the staircase yelling at the universe. WHY?! How could this be my life?!
The response smacked me in my face: Accept your new reality, or continue to suffer.
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it.”
-Eckhart Tolle
It’s not easy to accept what we don’t like. There’s something addicting about holding on to pain. (It’s the same reason why people love to complain about things.) But wishing that reality was different than it is is like being emotionally distraught that it’s raining outside. It doesn’t change anything — it only worsens your own reality. After all, there’s something so powerful in the simple phrase it is what it is.
— TIPS ON ACCEPTING DIFFICULT REALITIES: —
#1: Talk about the good things in life.
Our words have energy to them! Practice navigating conversations to be insightful and uplifting. When you talk this way, you think this way!
#2: Identify the resistance thoughts.
Thoughts become dominant because we repeatedly think them -- identify which of those (same old) thoughts don’t support you. You’ll be able to recognize when you (inevitably) think them again, making it easier to shift away from.
LESSON 2: LIFE KNOWS BEST.
It’s one thing to accept something. It’s another to trust it. We’re equipped with hearts & brains that are designed to categorize our preferences. So when we experience something that we don’t like, no matter how big or small, we naturally resist it. After all, we know how best to live our own life...right?
Maybe.
It’s funny how humans claim to control things we actually can’t control — to do things we don’t actually do. Like, healing our bodies, or growing out our own hair, or expecting to go on a vacation during a global crisis. Life is the intelligence — within our body, and the planet in which we live — that does all of the work. We humans don’t actually do anything. The intelligence does. When I slowly inched my way across the room with my pelvis in a sideways position week after week, I didn’t put my hips back in place. My body intelligence did.
Life is far more intelligent than the human mind.
The universal intelligence has got thousands upon thousands of years to show for its perfection. Life = Creation = Life. So for us human minds to think we know better is almost laughable! (Don’t worry — I laugh at myself often.) There’s something magical about letting life take the lead — it tends to know what its doing. Your existence alone proves that its worthy of your trust.
— TIPS ON TRUSTING WHAT WE CAN’T CONTROL: —
#1: Reflect on a time when you didn’t think something would work out...and it did (arguably for the better)!
This could have been a breakup, rejection, an injury, an unexpected situation, or even a devastating experience that learned turned into something beautiful. Recall of a few more times. Use this to serve as mental proof (for the times when you’ll need it) that life has your back.
#2: Imagine trust like a mental game.
When you don’t trust [your body, life’s flow, etc.], you’ll (accidentally) summon more of what you don’t want. When you replace feelings of fear or anxiety with I fully & completely trust ___, you’ll summon the things & feelings that you do want. Your thoughts are the players and intentionality is the winner!
LESSON 3: POSITIVITY IS A CHOICE. EVERYDAY.
Something miraculous happened one day when I was experiencing horrible sciatic nerve pain — I changed the focus of my thoughts. I say this was a miracle because if you’ve ever experienced nerve pain (or any physical pain for that matter), you know how all-encompassing it is. It’s as if the pain has a mind of its own, and has the power to completely dominate any other receptors in your brain.
The good news is that it’s possible to feel better by shifting your thoughts.
We’ve heard this a million times. We know how powerful our thoughts are. But I’ll tell ya — I didn’t really know this until I experienced it. As if the muscle spasms and inflammation were the obstacles my mind would have to face in the battle of joy. The happier thoughts my mind would think, the less physical pain I’d feel. It became an everyday practice — an obsession almost — because I’d reap the rewards of focusing my mind on something positive.
This, of course, is the Law of Attraction -- when similar energy attracts more of that energy. (There’s a reason why bodies get sick when the mind is stressed!) The best part about the Law of Attraction is that it doesn’t stop existing when things get hard. It exists because things get hard.
— TIPS ON CHOOSING POSITIVITY: —
#1: Create your mental “good thought tool box” of visions, memories, or ideas that make you feel good when thinking about it.
Anytime you need to boost your energy state from fear to fun, reflect on one of those thoughts! Close your eyes and focus on the better-feeling thoughts for as long as it takes to shift your energy state. (Hint: You don’t need to go from sad to high vibe! Take it one feeling at a time.)
#2: Play appreciation games.
This can be done by yourself or with others, and you can play it however you want! Start with an object or landscape that you enjoy looking at. As you stare at it, think about what it means to you, why you appreciate it, and how good it feels to have it in your life. When you feel full of gratitude, move on to another thing. Repeat and continue until you’re completely satisfied and filled with love & appreciation.